A keepsake is not the same thing as a memorial. A memorial is for remembering; a keepsake is a thing you keep, and the difference matters because most of what people buy in the first fortnight does not survive the first year. This page is about which ones do. We make one of the things on it and we have tried to be honest about where the others beat it.
The test a keepsake has to pass
Ask one question of anything you are thinking of keeping: in ten years, will somebody in this house be able to say what it is and why it is here? That is a harder test than it sounds. A collar passes it easily. A generic "paw prints on my heart" ornament does not, and neither does a personalised item that has your pet's name on it and nothing else of them.
The things that pass tend to be things that are physically of the animal, or things that carry a specific memory rather than a general sentiment. Everything below is one or the other.
Things that are physically of them
- The collar. Free, already yours, and the single most common thing families keep. It carries the smell for a while, then the shape of the wear, then just the fact of it. Put it somewhere you have decided on rather than in a drawer you will open by accident.
- A fur clipping. Has to be taken before or very shortly after death, and most people do not think of it in time. If your animal is elderly, do it now. A small envelope is enough.
- A paw-print impression. The other thing with a deadline: after death the window is roughly a day or two if they are kept cool. Some veterinary practices take one as a matter of course, and mobile services will come to the house. Ask at the surgery before you leave, because nobody will offer.
- A portion of the ashes. Jewellery and fused glass both work from a very small amount, so keeping some back does not stop you scattering the rest. What to do with the ashes goes through it properly.
Things that carry a memory rather than a sentiment
- A written record. The cheapest keepsake there is and the one people regret not making. Three habits only you remember, written down this month while you still have them. Our guide to writing a pet eulogy is the long version, but a list on the back of an envelope is enough.
- One photograph, chosen and printed. Not the most recent and not the sharpest: the one that catches them as you knew them. A photograph on a phone is not a keepsake, because a phone is not a thing anybody keeps.
- A memory box. The collar, the toy, the fur, the photograph and, critically, a note saying why each one is in there.
- A painted portrait. The thing we make, worked from a photograph you already have, in oil, watercolour, charcoal, line or pastel. It is on the wall rather than in a box, which is its whole argument: you see it without deciding to.
What we would not bother with
Anything with a stock illustration of a dog that is not your dog. Anything with a poem printed on it that you have not read carefully, since several of the famous ones are credited to the wrong person. And anything you are buying in the first week because you feel you should be doing something. That feeling is real and it passes, and the objects bought under it are the ones that end up in the loft.
Where this sits
Keepsakes are one decision in a stage full of them. Memorial ideas covers the wider range, what cremation costs is the decision that usually comes first, and the remembering stage holds the rest. If you want the portrait, the preview is free and there is no hurry on it either.
Written by Craig Fearn, Small Goodbyes. Last updated .